Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Patience is a virtue. Or so they say.

I consider myself a pretty patient person with certain things. The one thing that drives me crazy tough, is trying to get pregnant. Loren an I tried for about 2 years to get pregnant with Allie. After we hit the 2 year mark we pretty much gave up on the idea of having kids and we were both fairly okay with it. I mean if it wasn't God's plan for us to have children then that's just the way it is. Right after we started thinking that, I was pregnant. This time around, it's pretty much going the same way. We've put it into God's hands and decided when it's time it's time. It's just so hard though. I want to give up. I'm so sick of feeling down about not be pregnant one month and then being totally okay with it the next. I feel like it's just a mind game that makes me feel like I don't know what I really want. 

We've talked a lot about having another baby. So much so that we have the name picked out already. Well technically we had the name picked before Allie was even in my tummy, but she wasn't a boy so it didn't work out. We always wanted a Charlie Hamm. Charles Alexander Hamm to be exact. Charles comes from Loren's side of the family. His great grandfather was Charles and Alexander come from my side. Both my father and great grandfather's middle names were Alexander. I always thought a baby's name was too important to just pick from a book. It has to have some sort of story behind it. For example: my name, Amanda Mae. Amanda comes from a beautiful Waylon Jennings song named Amanda. Waylon was and still is one of my dad's favorite singers. Both he and my mom went to see him in concert when she was pregnant with me and when my dad heard the song for the first time, he knew he wanted a daughter named after the song. Mae is passed down generations on my dad's side. And that's why I just knew that Mae had to be Allie's middles name. We've already decided that the name 'Charlie' is too important to make it just a boy's name. If our next baby is a girl (I hope it is), she will be named Charlie Ann Hamm. (Ann is a family name on my mother's side) And just like Allie Mae, she will go by both her first and middle name. Charlie Ann. It's just so cute. 

Anyway, we have so much planned for the next little one already, but I've once again become okay with just having Allie. I guess we'll just have to see what happens....

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