Bringing up Allie

Well, daycare is a no go. I tried my hardest and I guess she's just not ready. Earlier in the week I decided to take Allie back to daycare even though last week didn't go very well. I figured she just needed to get used to the environment and all the new faces. I, once again, called after she had been there for a couple hours to check up on her and the teacher basically told me she was having a terrible day. She was worse than the first day and nothing was making her happy.

I finally made it to pick her up a couple hours later and as I'm signing her out of their computer system, I hear, "MOMMY!" in the most sad little crying voice ever. I couldn't believe how sad she was. It's hard to explain without making myself sound like the overly proud mom, but anyone who knows Allie knows she is not shy. She loves other kids and usually doesn't shy away from anyone, unless you're Santa. So this new extremely shy, crying, scared little Allie Mae, kind of came as a shock to me.

I talked to the director and she said to maybe try and come and hang with her for a little bit. She suggested going to the Valentine's Day party they were having for a couple hours. That way Allie would know I wasn't leaving and I was there to have fun with her. I thought it sounded like a good idea so I wanted to give it a go. We pulled into the parking lot and I was getting her all excited to go play with the other kids, but as soon as we stepped foot into the place she started crying and yelling for Daddy. This wasn't just any cry either, it was the really sad/scared cry. The cry that just rips your heart in two. I tried to walk around with her a little bit and show her all the cool things, but nothing helped. All she kept saying, over and over again was, "Jack, Car!" because she wanted to put her jacket back on and go to the car and leave. It was just so strange. There were kids everywhere for her to play with and she just wasn't interested at all. She had this death grip on me the whole time.

I talked to Loren about it after we got home and we decided she won't be going back. I don't know if she is overwhelmed by all the kids or what, but she does not like that place at all. I'm not going to make her go either. I've already had a couple people tell me, "Well, she's just going to have to get used to it.", sorry, but that's not how we work. If my kid is terrified of something I'm not going to make her do it. I understand she's going to be going to school in a couple years, but that's a couple years! She's only two and I'm ok if she wants to be with me right now. Why should I make her do something that she is uncomfortable with? I won't do it.

So now I guess we're just going to have to figure something else out. Allie can go to work with me and I'm totally ok with that, I just wanted her to have the chance to be in some sort of learning environment. I want to find a couple ideas so we can start homeschooling her. I just need to figure out a set schedule and I'd really like to finish potty training her first, then hopefully in 6-8 months we can start "school". I don't think she'd have the attention span for it right now anyway.

So until then, it's potty training book camp time! It's going to be a little more difficult now that I'm working a couple times a week, but I am determined to get it done before it gets nice out.

I made a treat jar for her today in hopes that it will help her to want to go. Nothing wrong with a little bribing!